Overzealous Unity of Command

Recently, my contact information was requested for the Military Law Students Association, of which I am a happy member. Some people might wonder: what business does he have being a member?

I am a Fleet Admiral in Starfleet. Although Starfleet's primary mission is in fact one of exploration, while many have felt it to be "peace," Starfleet is also the first, last, and every line of defense in space for the United Federation of Planets and Earth. We can all recall the many times Captain James T. Kirk saved our planet, or even the rare occasion when Captain Jean-Luc Picard did the same.

More importantly, there is the concept of unity of command. This martial concept can be employed for devastating effectiveness when diverse branches of armed forces are brought together for a battle or strategic theater.

Due to the Navy's overprotectiveness, and the drunk tirades of one Admiral King, our military did its best to hamper MacArthur's war effort in the Pacific. It is true that the Japanese feared MacArthur above all, but apparently we were more concerned with placating Ernest King and Chester Nimitz by giving the Navy a huge Pacific theater of command and relegating MacArthur to the "Southwest Pacific area." By separating the theaters in this cumbersome arrangement, both egos are somewhat satisfied as they receive commands.

By far the better solution would have been to have one and only one person in broad supreme command of the Pacific war effort. MacArthur argued strenuously for this, saying that he would "hold the horse if asked to," and although there can be little doubt that he would (see: ridiculous, idiotic orders from Truman in Korean War), he most certainly did not expect to be subordinate to Nimitz when all was said and done.

In any case, such unity of command would have avoided many needless deaths (specifically, Nimitz's extraordinary island blunders), and pointed a swift dagger at Tokyo far sooner. In summary, unity of command facilitates communication, orders, tactics, and strategy -- it is absolutely essential in times of crisis.

In times of crisis, Starfleet IS the unity of command, supplanting any one of the terrestrial armed forces for the top. My position would essentially be Supreme Commander of all forces, so it is a great honor for anyone from the US Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marine Corps (or Coast Guard) to work with me in the MLSA. I try not to go because it's not particularly good taste to mingle with the men, but when in 21st century Earth, do as the Earthlings do.

Monumental

I would like to point the blog's attention to the Global Peace Film Festival, taking in place in Orlando and on the Rollins College Campus in late September. At this festival, a film named "Monumental" will premiere on Friday, Sept. 28 at the Orlando Science Center. The film documents the life of David Brower: outdoorsman, environmentalist, and American hero. Brower founded the Sierra Club among various other natoinwide organizations, and was a decorated veteran of the Second World War. Much of the movie includes footage shot by Brower himself, including what will prove to be gripping action sequences taking place on rafting trips and training atop the mountains of Colorado. Brower's actions inspired Americans to appreciate the natural world around them and his influence will last through his organizations and this film.

Some useful links:
http://www.peacefilmfest.org/osc.html
www.earthisland.org/brower/index.cfm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_R._Brower

Overzealous Sean Penn Redux

Every now and then I like to reminisce about the good times we Overzealous Prosecutors have had indicting some of the notable criminals of our time. Remember, for example, the time Sean Penn made the Katrina aftermath worse by his presence, as his makeshift rescue cutter started sinking into the abyss. THIS was journalism:

OVERZEALOUS SEAN PENN

Overzealous Nick Anderson

There's a competition on YouTube for most overzealous Orlando Magic fan, and it brings to mind my youthful vigor in watching every Magic game on Sunshine Network with my good friends Chip Caray and Goose Givens. Those were the days. But I thought I would share with you some memories of the last of the original Magic team that included such greats as Morlon Wiley, Sam Vincent, and Mark Acres (the butt of far too many jokes):



And of course, the most memorable Nick Anderson moment of all:



According to Wikipedia, "At the end of the first game of the series, Orlando's Nick Anderson commented that "He didn't look like the old Michael Jordan,"[43] after which Jordan returned to wearing his old number (23)." Also according to Wikipedia, "Anderson is now retired from basketball, but recently accepted a job with the Magic in the community relations department."

I used to think Nick Anderson was the only dependable player on the Magic. His 6'6" standup poster in my room, my brother's room, and all my neighbors' rooms seemed to prove he also a dependable friend. Thank you Nick Anderson.

Overzealous HMOs

While many believe that HMOs are out to lunch on helping the folks afford healthcare, there's one that has missed the boat altogether: Independent Health is advertising that you deserve THE REDSHIRT TREATMENT.

Well *I* don't want the redshirt treatment! You know what happens to redshirts, don't you? If you're on a Starfleet vessel circa 2263-2268, and they beam down to a planet, moon, starbase, or starship, that redshirt has a very high likelihood of dying. That's because redshirts are security officers, whose job is to protect the other members of the landing party or to secure the area.

Sure enough, people are fleeing from Independent Health's plan as fast as they can, rejecting this insensitive affront to the millions of people in America who are Star Trek fans trying to find a good deal on healthcare.

For more on redshirts, click here. For a Star Wars fan trying to create a scandal by impersonating a Star Trek fan, click here.

Overzealous Casting

Do you have ANY idea how happy Karen Allen is to have a job? To be talking to people with careers? I know this seems mean, but it's not mean, I am bringing this up for anthropological purposes: this human being could not POSSIBLY be happier.



This is what Disco would be like if Michael Jackson asked him back to the Magical Kingdom for a nightcap. This is what TheGreatOne would be like if he never had to hear the word 'budget' again. This is what Red Hat would be like if the Devil Rays won a game against someone other than the Yankees. This is what Desert Fox would look like if he was offered a crew scholarship at Cairo University. This is what Corey Haim would look like if he got a contract for a one-time high school production of Lost Boys 3. This is what I would look like if I got to clean the bottom of people's shoes or help Mr. Nimoy with his irritable bowel syndrome on the set of the next Star Trek movie.

It's a wonderful thing to see, folks. This... THIS is happiness. Kudos to Karen Allen on a wonderful hair dye job.

Overzealous You Tube

Today I decided to check out the most viewed videos of all time on YouTube. I expected the top 10 to include "Dick In a Box," "The Real Life Simpsons Intro," and "You have Black friends Now." Little did I suspect that the second most viewed YouTube video of all time would be Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend. In fact, it has over 50 million views!!! I have no words to explain this. My only possible thought is that the Queen of England must've ordered Canada to put the video on constant reload.

We here at OP, once again, have no words to describe the weird habits of the Canadian people. Shocking...

OP Poll, Year 3, Week 1

It's that time of year again. We are publishing the first OP POLL of the year, the nation's only poll that doesn't respond to the bias of the anti-Gator conspiracy in the AP Poll and the jealous whims of the Coaches in the other poll. We factor in everything, including fun, to our poll.

Week 1

Top 25
1. South Carolina
2. Florida
3. Oklahoma
4. LSU
5. USC-West
6. Auburn
7. Wisconsin
8. Michigan
9. Texas
10. Louisville
11. West Virginia
12. Georgia
13. Boise State
14. Tennessee
15. Virginia Tech
16. Nebraska
17. Kentucky
18. FSU
19. Miami
20. Notre Dame
21. Arkansas
22. Cal
23. UCLA
24. Ohio State
25. Rutgers

Bottom 5
176. FAU
177. FIU
178. Pittsburgh
179. UCF
180. Illinois

South Carolina continues its unprecedented 105 weeks at the top of the poll. The bottom five is, interestingly, unchanged from two years ago. Two years ago, it was incredibly prescient. Others receiving votes were:

26. Houston
27. Boston College
28. Hawaii
29. Penn State
30. Alabama
31. Texas Tech
32. Duke

Overzealous Tom Green

For those of you who don't know (up until 2 minutes ago including myself), Tom Green is back. Or, well, in a way, he's been back for about a year, doing his Tom Green Show shtick five nights a week. The man wanted his own talk show, so he got it. Recently, I heard a rumor that he was a candidate to be on network or cable television again, but he will be settling for this for now.

As a high-ranking overzealous prosecutor, let me be the first to say that I don't expect any nominations for anything remotely Tom Green-related to the OP Hall of Fame. That includes anything involving Drew Barrymore, who is probably universally detested by every OP except, of course, for Kmac the Contrarian.

Overzealous Coultergeist

Listen, this is getting out of hand. Surely, even Democratic Presidential contenders have shreds of dignity. We all know that John Edwards made his money off running good doctors out of business thereby lowering the quality of healthcare for everyone whom the doctors might have helped but also for everyone else since the cost of basic healthcare would go up out of fear of greedy lawyers like Edwards. We all knew that. But now he is running his campaign entirely off of mentioning Ann Coulter's name.


John Edwards: the people want to hear about ideas. They want to hear about a vision for the country that doesn't involve your divisive "Two Americas" approach. We want someone to unite us so that we may move forward, not backward into the 1960s with you and your party. As Mitt Romney says, we wish to leave even the era of Reagan-Bush behind. We want a future even better than that. Stop hating on the charming Ann Coulter.

And that's the overzealous memo for tonight.

Overzealous Dictator Death

Sources have revealed to OP that Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has died. This shocking news is still developing.

You heard it here first, folks. OP is always on the inside bringing you news. Impacting....

Overzealous Prime Ministers

I am hereby announcing exclusively on the OP my advocacy for Ken Dryden as leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. While comfortable with the current conservative government under the leadership of Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and while my focus is more immediately directed to the presidential campaign of Governor Mitt Romney, the heart of the Desert Fox is with the leadership bid of Ken Dryden.

A recent poll in Canada shows that many people agree. http://www.gandalfgroup.ca/downloads/Liberal_Leadership_The_Publics_Choice.pdf

After being drafted by the Boston Bruins in 1964, Dryden went on to attend Cornell University instead of reporting for his professional goaltending duties, instead becoming an accomplished scholar and star goaltender, leading his team to the NCAA championship in 1967. Having been traded to the Montreal Canadiens, he stayed out of the National Hockey League in favor of attending Law School at the University of McGill, famous for educating members of the Fraser family. In 1970, Dryden decided to turn pro and that year, won the rookie of the year, the Stanley cup, and the playoff MVP trophy. After two more successful seasons, he held out during
contract negotiations and finished his Law degree at McGill. Dryden retired from hockey at the age of 31 as one of the all time greatest goaltenders and pursued a career in broadcast journalism, writing, the front office of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and finally, politics. Dryden was elected to a Toronto district of the House of Commons and later to Parliament and named Minister of Social Development. He was re-elected in 2006 and later announced his current aspiration to lead the Liberal Party. You can check his MP profile here. Influential pundits from Canada's Liberal Party think that he is the most capable replacement for Paul Martin at the top of the party and Stephen Harper as Prime Minister:

"Dryden - Why can we win with Ken? Three simple reasons. (a.) He has high name recognition and a strong reputation - People know who Ken is and once they hear him speak and set out his vision, they will see an honest, sincere politician not out there trying to simply win 40% of the vote, but a man who honestly believes that government can do good in this country and that 100% of Canadians can get behind his idea of what Canada can be. (b.) He can raise money - The Liberals are desperately falling behind in the money chase. Ken is the only guy who can go into rural Canada and draw large crowds. While they may come out because of his sporting past, they'll stay to hear about his ideas. The key is getting people to listen and Ken is the only candidate who has the gift in this race. (c.) He has the right policies - Ken contrasts clearly with Harper's visionor lack there of. His description of a "pinched, small" Conservative ideology is strong and I think it will resonate with Canadians if he is given a stage onto which to shout it out. Imagine what we could do if the people running Iggy's or Rae's campaign were running Ken's. Imagine putting Kinsella's strategic mind behind the image and voice of Dryden.

If we want to win then we have to select a leader who can lead us there. Ken Dryden is the one - listen, watch and read - learn about the candidates and imagine them during a campaign. Once you do that, you'll understand that winning this time isn't really an option, it's a necessity and Ken's the candidate to do it."

Ken Dryden. Scholar goalie, renaissance man.

Overzealous Hall of Fame Induction: Kids Incorporated

Today, many people are familiar with shows such as MMC, Even Stevens, Lizzie Maguire, and Hannah Montana. Yet back in the late 80's the Disney channel aired a classic television show that often goes unnoticed. That show, my friends, is Kids Incorporated- in my overzealous opinion, the greatest show ever on the Disney Channel. Here is the theme song from the season that features two people who are still relevant:



Yes, Stacy Ferguson was Fergie before the crystal meth addiction (shout out to Polk county). Also, yes that is Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was famous about 10 years ago. The show also featured Eric Balfour of cancelled TV shows fame and Fergie's bandmates from Wild Orchid.

However, the biggest contributor to Kids Inc.'s place atop my Disney Channel rankings can be found in the following clip, do yourself a favor and pay attention about 1 minute in:



Yes, ladies and gentlemen- that is AC Slater rapping! That alone vaults this show to the OP TV Hall of Fame. This is the first inductee, but rest assured, we will be looking for more and are accepting nominations.

Overzealous Russians

One thing we can all agree on, as we each individually overzealously prosecute our pet issues (Desert Fox: Hockey and Heath Ledger, GreatOne: Gretzker, the Budget, and being an Independent, etc.), is that the Russians are playing a hilarious, if ill-advised, game of political hooky. The definitive geopolitical post on the subject, in my mind, comes from the spectacular Geographic Travels with Catholicgauze blog.

Now Canada has rushed into the thick of things as well, sending my favorite Canadian Prime Minister ever to assert sovereignty. Since many believe him to be more frigid than the Arctic Circle, this my have the effect of reversing the alleged warming going on and putting the chill on overzealous Russian claims to the region based on the most noble of "tectonic" shifts along with a hint of Vodka and maybe a pinch of desperation-- and all designed to cause uncertainty (this is a must read link).

The politics will play out similarly to, but perhaps faster than, the Spratly Islands dispute. In the vacuum of a real power (the UN handling either of these is such a joke), it will take time, money, and power to resolve both.

Who will be more overzealous? Russia or Canada? I propose an ultimate hockey death match, like the 1956 Olympic water polo match between Russia and Hungary, to find out. (Only, well, Russia didn't back out after they lost... hmmm.)

Overzealous comments

Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in a week. Not a plummet from positive to negative, but a transition from comparisons to one of America's most notorious traitors to an infamous fictitious blunder. I knew that a candidate as capable as Mitt Romney would have good taste in movies.

For those who didn't know, Barack Obama proclaimed in a South Carolina debate a month ago that his strategy for dealing with governments like Cuba, Iran, and Venezuela was to have friendly meetings over tea and scrumpets. The following week he claimed that the country needs to be prepared to bomb Pakistan to deal with possible terrorists.

Then, with the resolve of Steve Young and the sharp wit of Joseph Smith, Mitt Romney publicly compared Obama to Jane Fonda and General Jack Ripper. It's a good call, but I would rather see Hillary be discredited embarrassingly instead. More on the Romney campaign to come...

Overzealous Drunken Canadian Hockey Players

Did anyone hear? Underneath the pile of the last 5,642 NFL players and University of Miami (FL) football players in the jail cell last month was Eric and Jordan Staal, the best of the burgeoning 1st family of NHL hockey. Eric is 22 and was enjoying his bachelor party while Jordan, 18, was along for the ride. They and about 20 more rambunctious drunken Canadians went south of the border to a Minnesota resort where they terrorized NFL fans and people who like the "Who's Now" segment.



Hilariously,

The Cook County Sheriff's Office said the brothers were among 14 arrested last
weekend after authorities received several complaints about "screaming, yelling
and playing loud music" at the resort in Northeastern Minnesota, about 2 hours
from the Staals' hometown of Thunder Bay, Ontario.
The sheriff said the group was warned multiple times before finally being ordered to leave the Lutsen Resort and Sea Villas in Lutsen, at which point the men gathered on a nearby highway and "began (overzealously) harassing motorists." That was when
authorities arrested the group, around 4 a.m. Saturday.

Is that why people like to follow sports? Because of the theives who go to FSU, the gun-toting low lifes of the NFL, the rapists of the University of Miami, and the game-fixers of the NBA? Well watch out American sports world, the NHL is about to rise to prominence again on the shoulders of the motorist-harassers of the Carolina Hurricanes.



On a more serious note, Eric and Jordan will both be very valuable fantasy players this year. Also look out for them to make a punishing line for Team Canada at future world tournaments and the 2010 Olympics. 2007/2008 predictions: Eric - 39/58, Jordan - 40/34. I'll take those numbers on the Crosby Show 2.

2008 in Film

In the spirit of discussing new movies with new casts, I will choose my favorite franchise *OTHER than Star Trek of course*, Batman, and give an update on the progress of The Dark Knight, due out July 18, 2008.

The only casting decision better than casting Tim Cruz as Sargeant Skywalker in the new Star Trek is Heath Ledger as the Joker. The Aussie is proving to give, according to co-stars Michael Caine and Christian Bale, a phenomenal and creepy performance. With Christopher Nolan (from Disco's favorite movie The Prestige and Memento) at the helm, who knows what we're in for... all I know is that Batman will not upset us. If the Oscar-nominated gay cowboy can pull off Brokeback, I'm sure he can pull off playing a homicidal maniac. Based upon the quality of it's predecessor, Batman Begins, the Nolan style, and a cast of Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, and Aaron Eckhart, we are all in for a treat come Summer 08. You can check out a flashy teaser trailer here: http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=15813

I'm sure those of you who saw Transformers in theatres were intrigued by the preview of the new sci-fi flick on the way simply titled 1-18-08. www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/. The geeks of the world have been speculating about monsters and what-not, but the current JJ Abrams project is as much a mystery as the reason why Kelly Clarkson is famous. Looks exciting.

Also on tap for the Summer of 2008:

Indiana Jones 4, starring Harrison Ford reprising his classic role, and the annoying kid from Disturbia (probably as his son). Iron Man, the story of an alcoholic superhero clad in iron, starring Robert Downey Jr in the title role. The Incredible Hulk, the sequel/franchise reboot of 2003's flop "Hulk," starring Edward Norton in the title role and the oft-interesting Tim Roth as the villain. Of course we will all be waiting and anticipating The Dark Knight... I'll have my advance sale IMAX ticket as soon as possible.

NOTE: Admiral, create a poll to see what upcoming movie the OPs anticipate most...

P.S. Plenty of Mitt Romney propaganda posts on the way...

Tom Cruise as Captain Pike

Good news. Casting on the new Star Trek movie continues, as does JJ Abrams' efforts to write Captain Kirk into the script. Leonard Nimoy has already signed on, having liked the script, which, incidentally, is an outstanding sign for the movie because he turned down acting and directing in Star Trek Generations on account of its awful script. Sources tell me that William Shatner is playing his usual routine of holding out for more money on Star Trek films, however.

All that aside, we have received some exciting news: Tom Cruise may play Captain Christopher Pike, the Captain who is relieved by Captain Kirk!!

...these new rumors only claim Abrams is looking at Cruise for a cameo role, which might be a favor the star would be willing to grant to his Mission: Impossible III director. IGN stressed that at this point there only seems to be a proposal from Abrams, and that there's no indication as to whether Cruise will actually accept the role.

In addition to their Cruise rumor, IGN noted that Paramount is trying to land an "A-lister" to play the film's main villain, but the site didn't reveal the name of this actor.

Again, I am heartened at the progress being made on this movie. Abrams is top quality, as are his screenwriters. If they are able to persuade Nimoy, who ran Star Trek with Harve Bennett for 9 years, then we are all in for a real treat come X-mas 2008.

Who's Now??

Who is now ESPN?

I'll tell you, Worldwide Leader, I don't know who is the most "Now," but it's not you.

With nothing better to report on other than steroid-using Barry Bonds and steroid-using cyclists over a relatively sports-less summer of 07, ESPN has really reached far down into Stuart Scott's creative recesses for their latest terrible feature. It's essentially a theoretical tournament for what athlete Keyshawn Johnson and Jessica Biel think has the hottest wife or following of skanks. This lame little feature which Newsweek has described as "like chewing styrofoam" has quite literally turned me off of ESPN almost permanently. It's bad enough that they ignore the greatest sport in the world to promote the NFL, Barry Bonds, ultimate fighting, poker, NASCAR and arena football on a daily basis, they rubbed it in the faces of two of the top 4 athletes on the planet in Sidney Crosby and Roger Federer in the most annoying way possible. If ESPN ever makes mention of this segment again, just flip over to E! News or that VH1 show where the deadbeat D-list comedians comment on the week's entertainment news. That's all that Keyshawn and Jessica say on Who's Now.

Way to unofficially and pathetically deify Shaq, LeBron, LT, Peyton, and Tiger Woods some more ESPN.

I'd rather watch a segment featuring the Schwab eating at an all-you-can-eat BBQ. (Ironically as I write this in a sarcastic fashion I recall watching a serious report on competitive eating when some American fatass beat the little Japanese hot dog eater on July 4)

Well I, for one, am going to refuse to do what Michael Wilbon wants me to do. I don't care how much he loves Chicago and hates white people. No matter how much they peddle those sports stars to keep everyone watching them (which everyone does like little ESPN-puppets) I will resist. If there is anything in the world that I DON'T care about, it is the Baltimore Ravens training camp. Or how Terrell Owens pinky finger is feeling. Or how much Dale Earnhardt Jr. can charm the American South with how many times he can say "ya'll" on national TV. Or the latest chemist who juiced up Barry Bonds and the book he wrote about it. Or the 45th time Brett Favre has decided that he's (maybe) retiring.

ESPN, the Worldwide (NASCAR, NFL, NBA, and Poker) Leader in Sports... and making you feel like you'd rather chew styrofoam.

Esprit de Corps, Part II

Perhaps the best known honor for the women and men of our armed forces is the Purple Heart. Not everyone knows why a member of our armed forces might receive one, or how John Kerry injured himself to get them, but it's worth looking into the story of this remarkable medal that has not, in fact, always been a part of our military's decorations.

The award, once termed the Badge of Military Merit, was started by General George Washington during the Revolutionary War and only awarded to a few men. It felt into disuse, and at the urging of private interests, was reinstated by the greatest commander of troops America has ever seen, and certainly its most brilliant, Douglas MacArthur:

The War Department announced the new award in General Order No. 3, February 22, 1932:

By order of the President of the United States, the Purple Heart established by General George Washington at Newburgh, August 7, 1782, during the War of the Revolution, is hereby revived out of respect to his memory and military achievements.

By Order of the Secretary War:

Douglas MacArthur,
General
Chief of Staff

Today, the Purple Heart is awarded for being wounded or killed in the line of duty. Ranked just below the Bronze Star in terms of prestige, it is nevertheless a tremendous honor to receive one or more of these awards. One of the most honored men to receive this award is Billy Waugh, who into his 70s, still serves our country in covert operations.

Esprit de Corps, Part I

Something as timeless as Overzealous Prosecutors is well-worth remembering. As such, I present to you a story about the greatest commander of troops in American history, a vignette that not many know, but that everyone should:

In the spring of 1903, Douglas MacArthur graduated at the top of his class from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and was commissioned a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. To commemorate the occasion, his proud family presented him with 14 KT gold castle insignia as a graduation gift. MacArthur wore the castles as a young engineer officer and later carried them with him during his career as a commander in World War I, Army Chief of Staff, and Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in the Pacific in World War II.

In March 1945, MacArthur presented the castles to Major General Leif Sverdrup, a close friend, who had served as chief engineer on his staff in the Southwest Pacific Area in World War II. MG Sverdrup recalled that General MacArthur, who had transferred to the infantry branch in 1917, told him that the castles meant very much to him, but that they “deserved to be worn by a real engineer” and that they should “never end up in a museum somewhere.”

Thirty years later, on May 2, 1975, MG Sverdrup attended the Engineer dinner at Fort Belvoir, Virginia, marking the Corps’ 200th anniversary. In a quiet corner before the banquet, MG Sverdrup presented the castles privately to LTG Gribble, then Chief of Engineers. Overwhelmed by the unexpected gesture, LTG Gribble later announced to the banquet guests his intention for the future: “I (propose) to hand the castles over to my successor at the conclusion of my tenure as Chief of Engineers, thus initiating an important tradition as well as discharging my trust to him.”

When General Gribble retired on 25 June 1976, he handed the coveted insignia over to his successor, LTG John W. Morris. The castles, Gribble said in his departing remarks, epitomized Esprit de Corps—the spirit of the Corps. Since then, all chiefs have received MacArthur’s gold castles upon assuming command and have proudly worn them as unique symbols of the spirit of the Engineer Regiment.